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I’m getting a little afraid of my impending WI! It’ll be my first WI since giving away my scale… This is a big deal, I have absolutely no idea what to expect!! I’m trying not to freak out about it, there’s nothing I can do really except keep going…
Class last night wasn’t too bad. I was exhausted when I got home, though, and didn’t even think about exercising… As it turns out I didn’t even think about cooking dinner either. Went out to Applebee’s and did pretty well. I had 1/2 of the chicken quesadilla that’s on the WW menu (so 5pts), an order of Teriyaki shrimp skewers (5pts but I didn’t eat the rice, so more like 3), and a dessert shooter (I’m guessing 5, there is no info on this anywhere). That’s perfect because I had 15 pts left for the day so it worked out great.
I’ve been overly hungry today for some reason… It’s kind of annoying. Why should I be eating more today than yesterday? Not like I’ve gotten in any exercise. Hmmm. Tonight I’m making one of my favorite dishes, Spicy Beans n Greens. I love this dish. It’s so satsifying and (I’m a nerd) I think it’s fun. I make some low-fat cornbread to go with it and it’s perfect! Here’s my menu for today…
B: egg, english muffin (3)
S: packet of oatmeal (2)
L: leftover lasagna (8), spinach salad (1), pb cookie (2)
S: rye crackers and pb (3)
D: beans n greens (4), cornbread (3)
S: fudgecicle (1)
=27/28. Perfetto.
If I do get a workout tonight (here’s hoping I’m up to it) I might have a small snack afterwards, like an apple with a touch of pb or some yogurt or something. But that’ll be within my range due to APs earned.
I think I’ve eaten 23 of my flex points this week (!!). I can’t be sure because I don’t have my little tracker notebook here at work, but it’s about that. I had a big splurge on Saturday of this orange crumb cake I made, and then on Tuesday when I went to Panera I ate a bunch of bread that I hadn’t planned on. Every other day has been within 1 pt of my target. I’m hoping to keep today and tomorrow right at target as well since my WI is Saturday.
I’m just rambling right now. I really just don’t want to work on this project in front of me. Boo. I guess I ought to, it’s what I’m getting paid to do. Enough for now.
I can’t spend too much time away from work today as I’m in the middle of a pretty important report with a pretty tight deadline (tomorrow!), but I wanted to update on the situation from yesterday –
I went to talk to the DGS, who is pretty much the nicest woman ever. The thesis course definitely no longer counts towards my ability to graduate (as I expected), and she pulled some strings for me and got me in a class that is a) a PhD level and b) full (i.e., on both counts hard to get in). It’s being taught by pretty much the nicest man ever (yes, our department staffs both the nicest woman and the nicest man in the world), my ex-thesis advisor, now my orals supervisor. I had him for a class last year and absolutely loved it. This one’s called “Rhyme,” and we study poetry from 1500-1800 or so. The objective as he states it is to get us thinking about rhyme in different ways. Should prove interesting. Plus the prof is entirely versed (har, pun) in my situation with work and trying to graduate and all that, and he’s very understanding.
Sooo… I’m taking a class this term. It’s a little stressful. Mondays and Wednesdays now I get to work at 7:15 so I can leave at 4:15 and make it to my 5pm class. My oral exam is going to be scheduled for the final week in April (or the week before that), so I need to get on studying for that ASAP.
I just keep telling myself — it’s not so bad, I will be done with all of this come May, and by done I mean DONE with my entire degree. I can stick it out til May, right?
My concern is going to be eating on Mondays and Wednesdays. Today’s a trial run of how I can manage my hunger properly… I ate breakfast at 6:30, have a snack to eat about now (I’m getting hungry), then I figure I can eat lunch at 11:30 or 12, and hopefully that holds me over until around 4 at which point I eat a snack, and then dinner can be at 7. I’m prepared for this scenario. What I won’t be prepared for is if my lunch doesn’t hold me over long enough and I have to eat my snack early, which will leave me hungry in class, which will make me prone to grabbing fast food before/after.
Doesn’t help that one of my friends is in class with me and she’s the one who liked to take me to IHOP before I told her I was on WW. She doesn’t cook. When I told her about my favorite work pants she just said “Well maybe you should eat more.” :/ So at least for tonight I’ve offered to take her home with me after class and cook dinner for her — but I can’t do that twice a week from now til May. So I’ll have to figure something out (hm, perhaps just saying NO to fast food will help?)
The other thing is I have no idea what my energy level will be like in the evenings — which means my recent trend of exercising might be blown… I hope not. I was thinking of taking Mondays and Wednesdays off, and then instead of sleeping in the extra hour on T, Th, and F I could wake up at my M/W time and work out in the mornings. We’ll see.
I’m babbly for someone with so much work to do today… I better be off. Have a good Wednesday everybody!
Everything has been fine and dandy, and then yesterday hits and it all gets bizarre and stressy.
First, I never have deadlines at work. We’re strong believers in doing the best possible job even if it takes a couple extra days. Yesterday my supervisor decided that my project was due today… (I think I posted about this yesterday.) So one day’s notice. Grrreeat.
I work late, I take my computer home and work even later, I wake up at 5 and work, I get in an hour early and work work work, and I still don’t get it done till 11am. Fine. I still made the “Tuesday morning” deadline.
I go talk to Mr. supervisor, he has another project for me that sounds kind of interesting. It has a deadline next week — doable, I have about 5 days, I can manage the info request by then. Then I get called into Mr. president’s office and am handed another project. That has to be done by Thursday. Oooookay…. I’m thinking I can work that one in by Thursday, but the first one has to sit for a while. Now the feasibility of doing that one is doubtful.
Why all the deadlines all the sudden? Oh, right, Jaime’s going through other stressy crap, let’s pile more on.
Aside from work, I was filling out my application to graduate today so I can get my MA (finally). Then I realize — oh! I was counting on Thesis Research being one of my graded courses to meet my degree requirement. If I can’t count that anymore now that I’m no longer writing a thesis, I’m screwed. I’m one class short. It’s past the add/drop deadline. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.
Unless the Director of Graduate Studies (who I’m going to see in an hour) tells me she’ll let me count Thesis Research (because I did the damn research, I’m just not writing the paper), I’ll have to take another class in the Fall, or go ahead and write the thesis.
Thing is, I was banking on being done at school this term so I could move with my company up to D.C. DH’s applying to jobs up there. If he gets a job and I have to stay here for ONE STUPID class, I’ll be so mad. We’ve spent enough time apart. PLUS, I’ll have to pay far more tuition if I have to take another class… When I could have taken one last term for no extra cost.
I could go back to writing my thesis and extend a term, that way I can pay non-resident tuition, still move to DC, and that’d be ok… But I do not think I have it in me to write a thesis. Seriously, I’m so done with school I just want to leave, degree or not. I hate it.
I guess I’ll know the answer to my question about Thesis Research soon enough… and should try to forget it til then. But I can’t. I’m obsessing over it. My stomach’s in a knot and I want to go home and fall into bed. This is a big deal to me. It throws EVERYTHING out of whack.
I’m so bothered right now. At least my comfort food drive hasn’t kicked in yet… Let’s hope I get good news, because if I don’t I’m not sure I have the strength not to resort to emotional eating.
My favorite work pants are dying and I don’t have enough faith in myself as a seamstress to fix them properly. They’re just a very comfy, flattering pair of grey pants I got at Target last May that I wear once or twice a week, and I don’t know if I can keep wearing them now.
They’re falling off my rear when I walk.
*Yay!*
Honestly this morning I was SO happy I had a long coat on, with every step I took towards my office I was praying my pants wouldn’t just slip right off me… One hand full of coffee, the other holding my work bag, no where to stop and be discreet about yanking them up without flashing my buttcrack to the world… Luckily I made it in and was the first one to arrive, so I could take off my coat in privacy. Holy cow. It was interesting for a minute or two.
I’m going to try moving the button over just a bit and sewing a couple of tiny folds in the waistband to tighten it up a bit. The fabric’s pretty thin so it shouldn’t affect the visuals at this point, and I think if I’m careful I might be able to do it. Otherwise I only have one other pair of nice pants and one pair of nice jeans I can wear to work, as my 3 or 4 other nice pairs of work pants are still just a *tiny* bit too small. I’m in pants limbo. If it were summer I’d be set cos I have a ton of skirts (ok, 4) I could wear. Oh well. Maybe I’ll just have to get one pair of pants, that wouldn’t be too bad.
I guess this counts as an NSV, huh? :D
My muscles are pretty sore from my TurboSculpt yesterday. I think I’m getting addicted to this feeling. All I want to do right now is go home and exercise some more. Alas, I’m not sure if it will be possible, because I just found out the project I’m working on needs to be done ASAP… Soooo… Probably ought to stop posting in my blog for the time being…… :p
Happy Monday, everybody.
Yesterday at my WW meeting we talked about “The Twilight Zone.” No, not that creepy show where you’ll see men going crazy due to monsters on the wings of airplanes, but the rest of the day directly following your weekly WI. A lot of people see this as “plan-free” time, because they just weighed in and don’t have to do so again for another whole week. So they eat like they were trying to gain weight and don’t count a single bit of it. Then are disappointed with their lack of real results the next week.
I found this interesting because I have definitely been guilty of this kind of action and rationalization of otherwise irrational behavior. It really can sidetrack your efforts. I’ve made it a goal to pass the weekend without any overeating or poor choices, but to still feel like I’ve been able to eat special things since it’s the weekend and I have more time to cook. So far I’ve been very successful with it.
Yesterday for breakfast, I had an egg on an english muffin — like I usually do for breakfast — but today I added some fresh baby spinach and melted a stick of string cheese on top of the egg. You may think it’s silly, but it felt simply gourmet. It was amazing what adding a special touch did (and for only an extra point).
For lunch, I had a turkey, avocado, and spinach wrap (deeelish) with a bowl of homemade butternut squash soup. Talk about restaurant-quality.
Dinner was a spaghetti and chicken casserole thing that was a little high in points but still fit into my plan, and I had room for a little orange crumb cake I whipped up.
I did end up going over a bit (due to extra crumb cake….), but I accounted for all my points, checked off the Flex points I used, and am going make sure I stay OP today. I think instead of following the Wendie plan exactly I’m just going to have 1 or 2 days where I intentionally go into my flex points, and stay in the vicinity of my target the other days. I’m hoping it’ll feel more natural; last week I felt forced to overeat when I had low-point dinners planned.
Today I’m going to make a big pot of chicken and black bean soup, a pot of spinach florentine soup, and a lasagna in the crock pot. Oh, and I’m going to kick butt at a TurboJam workout that I haven’t successfully completed yet, and I’m thinking I’ll follow it with some yoga. Might as well get a long workout in while I have the time. And, if I’m really that awesome, I’ll put away the laundry and vacuum the living room. Maybe. I might not be that awesome.
On with the planning:
B: leftover orange crumb cake… (it’s gone! it’s gone!) (4)
L: turkey, spinach, avocado wrap (5), spinach florentine soup (2)
S: banana raspberry smoothie (3); apple and pb post-workout (3)
D: crockpot lasagna (6 or 7… have to go recalculate as I’m changing the recipe a bit), spinach salad (3)
S: fudgesicle (1)
=27/28. I always find a way to eat up that extra point… don’t worry ;)
So I’m pretty much going to turn green with all the spinach I’m eating lately, but I’m seriously in love with it right now. I can’t get enough of it. Perhaps I’m running low on iron? Or calcium? Aren’t those the two big nutrients in spinach, perhaps my body needs more? Or maybe I just love the stuff and shouldn’t complain!!
BTW, I should mention I was up only 0.8 yesterday at my WI, which means all of you wonderful people who were sending me positive vibes totally knocked off at least a pound. I expected to be +2 at the very least, and here I was with not even an extra pound! Ok, now let’s aim for a loss next week, and I’ll be set :) Thanks to EVERYBODY for your support, you know who you are and you’re fantastic people.
I realize that giving up is not the way to go. I guess giving up was never an option, even with how I’ve been feeling the past few days (culminating in today). I’m just frustrated. I’ve been given some very kind sentiments and some very helpful pieces of wisdom from some of the ladies on 3FC, and I’ve forced myself to turn on some upbeat music to help get myself out of that funk I was in this morning. And I’m generally feeling better.
Still frustrated, but better.
I mean, my body MUST be doing something good, if I’ve lost a few inches here and there and my pants fit differently and I can see my thighs coming back in a good way. So who cares if by my weight it looks like I tried for a week and gave up, letting it all pile back on? Really, who cares, when I know I’m making progress?
Everybody’s right. The choices I’m making now are better than the choices I was making before, and that’s not something you can measure with a scale. (Well, … unless you’re talking about a food scale… :p ) You can’t measure well-being. Or energy level. or self-confidence. It’s all these intangibles that are changing, just my weight that isn’t.
I guess the fact is I feel pressured to LOSE. I’m on Weight Watchers. I go get weighed every week, not measured. When people find out you’re changing your lifestyle, they ask, “how much have you lost?” or “what’s your goal weight?” Not, “how often are you choosing to eat fried chicken?” or “how many times per week are you exercising?” or “how long can you hold a side plank?” (erm, the answer to that one is about .5 milliseconds, btw). There is immense pressure to LOSE weight. To justify what others perceive as a pain in the ass (”dieting”) with empirical evidence.
So when I’m left only with qualitative statements and few quantitative measures, I feel like I’m failing. But I’m not! I swear, I’m not failing, I’m actually doing really well!
I’m doing really well, and I’m damn proud of myself. That’s the bottom line. If I tell myself that enough times, maybe I will actually start believing it. Screw the scale. It is not my friend. It is going away when I get home tonight. Far, far away. I’m breaking up with it, I’m tired of this relationship.
Phew. I feel better. I think I’ll take a walk during lunch.
:)
Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining is hard. Pick your hard.
I’m having a hard time picking my hard. I’m discouraged. I’m starting to feel like losing weight is just not something I’m meant to be able to do. Sigh.
I’ve ranted enough on the 3FC boards, so I won’t worry the blog with it. Just move on to regular stuff, like life, and food planning, though what good it does me I do not know.
Today:
B: egg, english muffin (3)
S: 1/2 c (cooked) oatmeal (2)
L: spinach salad w/walnuts (3), thai soup (5)
S: rye crackers and natural pb (3), clementines (1)
D: chicken and black beans (and onions, bell pepper, mushrooms) in high-fiber wrap (5)
S: fudgesicle (1)
That’s only 23 points out of 28 I’m supposed to be eating. But if eating more (a la Wendie Plan) isn’t working, perhaps I’ll just stop caring when I go way under. Whatever, right? Doesn’t work either way, might as well not stress about it.
It’s about 10:30am and I’m hungry. Usually I don’t start getting hungry til 11:30 or 12, and I tend to eat lunch at 12:30 so that works out ok. Not today, though. HUNGRY!
So I’m eating my snack that I had for the afternoon (rye crackers and peanut butter). Which means I no longer have anything to eat this afternoon, should I get hungry after lunch. Now, there’s a chance my lunch will sustain me through the afternoon, but I get really grumpy and tired in the evening if I skip my afternoon snack. (Curse of hypoglycemia.) I have 2 points unplanned for the day, plus I can assume I will earn 2 tonight via exercise. I like to use my APs post-workout, though, as I get hungry an hour or so after working out… So let’s see, what I can I find near my office for 2 points?
Unfortunately, not much beyond CVS fare and lattes. I could do a latte, but I prefer to *eat* my snacks, not drink them. Hmmm.
So, I wonder if I’m going to be hungry in the mornings more often, if I continue exercising regularly? Assuming my metabolism is speeding up (assuming), it would make sense that my body will process that morning egg and english muffin faster than it had been doing before. I guess I ought to start planning for a morning snack, just in case.
So two good metrics to report: I’m less a half pound since yesterday, and I measured again last night to find that my waist is the same (down 1.5) but my thighs have now gone down an inch each. Woo! I am still thinking about giving away my scale… the fact that I couldn’t stay off it this morning wasn’t a good thing, even though it gave me good news. (Need I point out my -0.5 still leaves me +1.2 from a week and a half ago….)
Plan for today:
B: egg and english muffin
S: rye crackers and natural pb
L: leftover red beans and rice, broccoli, spinach salad
S: …? latte?
D: pasta with vegetables and lean ground beef, topped with fresh parm
S: (post-work out) apple w/pb
Today is a “low” day of 28 points, and they are all accounted for, plus 2 in the evening snack that I get if I work out (those are APs). Planned exercise is going to be either TurboJam or WATP.
So tonight I went to a friend’s house and worked out on her treadmill for a while. I’ve never been on a treadmill before, actually, so it was a wholly new experience. I have to say, it was pretty awesome! I want a treadmill now, but we have no space and can’t justify the money for one anyway. I did a half hour on one of its preprogrammed weight loss things. I think I could do the next hardest one next time… The easiest one was a little too easy. I see the draw in having a treadmill, though… Just pop in a movie and start working out, you never notice the time pass.
When I got off the treadmill I felt like I was still moving forward… Anyone get that weird imbalance after you step off? I had to walk very slowly for a second before I got my bearings back. I have pretty poor balance, maybe that has something to do with it. All I know is I better not try to run off the treadmill and go up a flight of stairs or something, I might come tumbling to the ground!!
This makes for three days of exercise in a row. Woot!! :D
A commenter on my previous entry on kundalini yoga has fueled me to explore the topic a little further. I hadn’t heard of the “dangers” of awakening the kundalini before… It’s actually pretty interesting. Your kundalini, of course, is the energy of your true self, and it’s accessed by control of the breathing and the mind, meditation, and unlocking the energy of the 7 chakras (there’s an 8th, too… the aura… though I forget how that plays into all this). My only experience with kundalini yoga had been my first foray into its practice via a DVD for beginners, and I posted below about how interesting it was, and how powerful it felt.
Here’s what I’ve been able to find about the “dangers” of unlocking the kundalini:
First and foremost there is the danger of sexual stimulation so that the individual becomes drained of his vitality through sex-obsession. Mental unhingement lies along this line. Sexual vitality and activity are very closely allied to Kundalini, for both are supremely creative in their nature, and the development of the one is bound to stir the development of the other. All sexual urge must be under complete control, at the will of the individual, and must be in a condition of what may be called sublimation, that is to say it must be recognized as a sacrament and therefore to be used in reverence and in a spirit of dedication.
So, one danger is sex-obsession due to the energies released by kundalini, and the person’s desire to develop that energy. (If I’m reading that right.)
Second, there is the danger of upsetting the physical rhythmic equilibrium through the uncontrolled stimulation of the various centres of the body—the possibility of injury to the heart, to the nervous system through the solar plexus, the individual becoming a chronic invalid with general physical deterioration of the brain, producing a strain also ending in mental unhingement. These dangers are avoidable provided the individual is in very sound health, has already gained an ample measure of self-control, thinks quietly and clearly, never narrowly, and is free from any servility to sexual impulses, has in fact little if any sexual tendency at all.
Boundless energy focused improperly can put a strain on various organs and lead to brain, heart, and organ failure. You must be in control of yourself to avoid these dangers.
When the physical, emotional and mental bodies are beginning to become resolved into their higher counterparts, as in the case of those who are concluding human existence so far as imprisonment in it is concerned, then Kundalini flows naturally and without encountering more than a minimum of obstruction. There is beginning to be but one Fire, one Life. It is at stages earlier than this that extreme circumspection is vital, for the Serpent-Fire does not discriminate. It consumes. It tends to flow along the lines of least resistance, and sometimes such lines may lead downwards and not upwards, with indescribably disastrous effect.
So if you’re looking to consolidate your inner and outer beings, this can cause you trouble. Serpent-fire can consume you.
The whole of the physical body, becoming a wonderfully sensitive instrument, becoming refined out of all relation to its surroundings, can easily, therefore, be shaken to pieces as a result of the impact of coarse and violent vibrations from without. Sturdy physical health is thus a sine qua non for the arousing of Kundalini, and the health of an adult rather than that of a youth.
Sounds like every day life to me. The pressure and noise and speed and activity of the modern world presses down on us, makes us feel anxious and panicky and, in extreme cases, causes major shut-down. The helpful addendum of “good health is a must” is sort of obvious, this would be the case in any situation.
There’s more here. It’s an article on religion/philosophy, as opposed to the practice of yoga. I think you have to go far deeper than my introductory beginner’s DVD in order to even think about experiencing any of these spiritual “dangers.” What’s more, you probably have to subscribe to some system of beliefs in which all of this is possible in order to fall victim to its dangers.
I don’t necessarily believe in all the spiritual aspects of the practice of yoga. I believe in a mind-body connection, I believe that the motions of yoga are strengthening and fortifying in ways that typical cardio and strength routines are not. But all this about serpent-fire… energy that can be harmful to your organs and cause mental breakdowns… I don’t know. I don’t buy it. I’m still too much a product of the Catholic church (oh so long ago) to subscribe to all that.
Here is another site about the dangers of kundalini, this time with a focus on the yoga. Note, however, that the author also promotes the “healing power of Jesus Christ”, and his/her opinions may therefore be biased… quite obviously.
And here is a rather level-headed account of the possible dangers of awakening the kundalini.
I’m no expert… But I’m pretty sure the 20 minutes I spend on my living room floor moving my arms above my head and breathing in and out with purpose isn’t going to drive me insane. And that’s about all I have to say about that :)
Seems every couple of days I have to get on here and vent about how things aren’t going right for me. How my weight either stays the same or goes up. And indeed, I weighed this morning and was 212, 1.5 away from my start weight (on my home scale), 1.8 above my first week’s loss. Boo.
I know exercise makes the muscles hang on to water (which is why hydration is important, and I drank many glasses of water after my workout yesterday). I also resorted to canned green beans last night instead of using the fresh broccoli I planned for. I wonder if the two of those combined caused my +1 this morning? I don’t think TOM is coming up (since I stopped the pill I have a hard time knowing) — (wait, I just thought about it, perhaps TOM is coming at the beginning of next week… But it might be the week after. Does hormonal weight gain happen right at its outset or mid-cycle?).
I guess I should stop worrying about it. There’s really not a whole lot I can do except keep going. I’m worried, though, that if nothing budges I’m going to start slipping…
I really, really am considering giving away my scale. Not just putting it away… as I’ll just pull it back out… but I mean actually giving it to someone else who I have no intention of ever seeing again. It is driving me nuts and depressing me. I get weighed every week at WW anyway, so why bother with the mid-week WIs? Something to consider… I’m thinking pretty seriously about this…
I’ve been playing with widgets and such today instead of doing work (hey, we ought to be at home today, it’s MLK day after all) and made a couple of items for the sidebar. One of them is the 10-Day January Challenge. It felt so good to exercise yesterday, and I’m so proud of myself for doing it, that I want to continue the trend. (I also am still feeling uneasy about using Flex Points on the Wendie Plan, and so want to use that to push myself to exercise.)
So with 11 days remaining in January, I thought I’d do a little self-challenge. I’m taking it easy, since I’m a beginner and out of shape, but I aim to do at least 20 minutes of intentional exercise each day, with the possible exception of one if I need it. Walking counts as exercise for this purpose, though one might argue that it’s not intentional if I’m, say, walking to work. But hey, it’s my challenge and I make the rules :p I know 20 minutes might not seem like much but a) I may end up doing more than 20 minutes and b) it’s a far cry from my current level of ZERO. Next month I’ll step it up.
I was going to add another component like “no eating out” or “stay off the scale” but decided to keep it purely physical. Maybe those other two will come with February, who knows.
I think the desire to make this challenge was because I was reading around the 3FC forums (either in exercise or maintainers) that those who have the biggest success at taking off weight and maintaining their losses were those who exercise consistently throughout the journey and find fitness in activities they love. So that’s my aim. I know I’m not going to wake up one day and think, “gee, suddenly I LOVE exercise!” so I don’t know why I expect that to happen. (That seriously up until recently has been my expectation.) It’s hard, it takes time from my day, it makes me feel out of shape. But all that will change with time, so I need to give it a shot to make this part of my lifestyle while I have the chance.
BTW, if any of you out there care to join me, let me know and I’ll make the daily rounds of “so, did you exercise yesterday?” to try to keep you accountable! :)
So presumably I’m on the Wendie plan this week to see how things go. Since Friday was a disaster, I didn’t make Saturday my super-high day and just ate normally. Then Sunday was supposed to be a low day (28), which I achieved. Today’s goal is 32 points, which I’m having trouble wrapping my head around because why should I be aiming for points HIGHER than my usual 28? I think I’m going to have some mental roadblocks to overcome on this plan… But I’ll see it through, see what happens.
Today is 32 points. So this is the plan:
B: egg (2), english muffin (1), tsp margarine (1), string cheese (1)
L: lean cuisine (5), spinach salad with cranberries, walnuts, and ff dressing (3), 1oz almonds (4)
S: 1/4 c trail mix (3), 4 ryvita crackers (1) with 1tbsp natural pb (2)
D: “Not Humdrumsticks” (supposed to be yesterday but I roasted a chicken instead) (4), potato (3), broccoli (0)
S: fudgesicle (1), square of 85% dark chocolate (1)
=32 for the day. Jeez, I feel like I’m packing the food in. But I’m giving it a chance… so freakin’ counter-intuitive…. gah!
Gonna take the focus away from me for a bit. The new yoga DVD I own, “Fat Free Yoga,” is one in a series of yoga DVDs by Ravi Singh and Ana Brett. The particular type of yoga that these two train in is called Kundalini yoga, which is vastly different from anything conventional you might try in a gym. I was very impressed by it and want to share with you all what it’s about:
Kundalini yoga is a physical and meditative discipline, comprising a set of techniques that use the mind, senses and body to create a communication between “mind” and “body”. Kundalini yoga focuses on psycho-spiritual growth and the body’s potential for maturation, giving special consideration to the role of the spine and the endocrine system in the understanding of yogic awakening. (From Wikipedia)
Unlike most other types of yoga, kundalini yoga links movement with breath. You’ll find yourself asked to focus on rhythmic breathing, whether long and deep or short and shallow, while intoning the words “sat nam” with each breath, calling upon your own true self to emerge and grow strong.
It is sometimes called “the yoga of awareness” because it seeks to awaken the “kundalini,” or the unlimited potential which already exists within each human being.
What I really enjoyed about it was the movement. It is not a mere stretching and posing exercise. Instead, it is no-impact aerobics, it is strength and flexibility training all in one, with a strong meditative element. It feels incredibly powerful. Once you get past the initial feelings of silliness about sitting in your living room breathing funny with your eyes rolled upwards and chanting, it really does feel powerful.
The “Fat Free” DVD I have focuses its energies on unlocking the endocrine system and releasing the energy of the metabolism, along with providing cardio and stamina building. Despite all the movement, you still get that feeling of “centeredness” and peace you get with traditional hatha yoga, as meditation is encouraged throughout the process.
I’m already a fan and I’m very inexperienced with it. I don’t know how much I believe in the 7 bodily energy centers (chakras) radiating along the spine and such — I find I don’t believe in a whole lot these days — but when it makes you feel so alive and …. present … it can’t be bad. I do highly recommend trying it out. It’s definitely a change.
Oh, and can I mention that Ravi Singh’s voice is just about the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard? That man could talk his way into any woman’s pants if he wanted to :p …
So far I’m doing well with my to-do list. There were four items: exercise, read, put laundry away, and plan a week’s worth of dinners. So far I’ve exercised and planned dinners. Laundry is in the dryer and will be put away after dinner. As for the reading… well, I’ve done about 15 mins :p I was getting back into it when it occurred to me I still had my blog to encourage procrastination. I will do some more after laundry is put away… Promise.
As for eating, everything’s been right on track. I changed up my dinner though because I wanted to roast a chicken I had thawed, since I don’t usually have the time to roast chicken during the week (due to the amount of time it takes to cook). Either way, things look good for today.
Here’s something scary — I went back and calculated the points I consumed on Friday. I came up with… 73. Yes, that’s right, 73 points. That’s two and a half days’ worth of food. The main culprits were the three slices of pizza (21), four cheesy breadstick things (16), and 1c of creme brulee (15). Ahhh, the lessons I must teach to myself the hard way!
I was very proud of myself this morning, though, because I actually got off my butt first thing in the morning and worked out! I first did a yoga DVD I bought but hadn’t tried — it’s way different from regular yoga, it’s pretty nifty. It keeps you moving and is actually good cardio, as opposed to just holding poses and such. After that I did the TurboJam 20 minute learn n burn, even though I remember all the moves by now. It’s just about the only workout on that DVD that I can keep up with. So anyway, hurray for exercise! Makes me feel happier, anyway.
Well, the chicken’s ready to come out of the oven and I best get to that (and the laundry and the thesis reading). Hope everyone’s weekends have been good!
Time may change me, / But I can’t trace time…
Now I’m gonna have David Bowie in my head all night (not totally unpleasant…)!
The green of my previous theme was starting to get irritating, as on my work computer it looked great but at home it turned neon and the text turned grey (on a white background, that’s tough to look at). I’m totally diggin’ the new theme though.
A look at today’s eating:
B: kashi + milk (5)
L: 2 slices of pizza leftovers (14)
D: sushi (4), a bit of bean soup (2), fudgesicle (1), square of dark chocolate (1)
It’s funny, I had kind of given up on today as well after the pizza until I realized I could still (kind of) make the day work. And I did. I’m a point under target, actually. While the food wasn’t the best, I still stuck to my intake level. So that’s good. I also got some exercise in with my afternoon walk. We ended up making a snowman in our front yard, which was hilariously fun! I hadn’t done that since I was a kid! I didn’t make one single snowman during my 8 years in Canada… Though I guess that’s because 99% of the snow that falls is the boring non-packable kind. You can’t do anything with it. I much prefer the fun wet snow :)
There are things I NEED to do tomorrow, and I’m going to post them here so I have someplace I have to report back to if I don’t:
ACTIONS:
-exercise! for serious! mooooove. I don’t care what it is — speed walking, WATP, yoga, TurboJam, whatever. Just DO something.
-Read for at least 2 hours… on a topic relevant to my thesis. TWO hours of something about the thesis I need to both start and finish by mid-April.
-Put the laundry away.
-Make a dinner plan for the week so I don’t fall into the ordering in or going out trap.
FOOD:
My eating is always off on weekends so it’s best to make a plan and stick to it like glue.
B: 2 eggs, spinach, asparagus, onion, tomato (omelet); english muffin with sf jam. (6)
L: 1c homemade chili (3, maybe 4), spinach salad (3 for the walnuts, cranberries, and lf dressing)
S: ryvita rye crispbread and 1tbsp natural pb (3)
D: Serving of “Not Humdrumsticks” (recipe from Eat, Shrink, and Be Merry), steamed broccoli, roasted sweet potato (8), fudgecicle (1), wine (3)
=27/28. I’m sure I’ll find that extra point somewhere.
That’s about it, I will report back tomorrow on progress.
Okay. I made it home just fine, without giving into my desire to drown in junk food. However, when I got home, I was still kind of in a funk about the whole week, and made a poor decision: to order pizza. I had three slices… Which was enough to make me feel really disgusting for the rest of the night. But it’s over, I feel just fine about getting back on board again. And I don’t feel like last night was a set-back. It was part of the process. I’m being too hard on myself.
And, as a point of comparison, when I would order pizza out of stress or anxiety or anything other than hunger, I used to order a pizza and a side item and a dessert item, and barely have anything to show for it the next day… So the fact that all I ordered was a pizza shows some improvement in the lengths I will go to when I’m in a binge-y state of mind.
I didn’t go to my WW meeting this morning, though. I know I could have gone and not weighed myself, but when the time came around to get out of bed DH persuaded me to stay and snuggle while the bed was nice and warm. Hey, there’s snow outside, so exceptions must be made! It was a nice morning anyhow, we watched an Akira Kurosawa film “Dersu Uzala,” which is really a beautiful movie if you have the 2 hours and 20 minutes it takes to get through it. Look it up on imdb if you like foreign movies. It’s a keeper.
Anyway, just after lunch we’re going to go walk around in the snow and ice, relive our time in Canada (though nothing about Virginia compares to Ontario…). I feel like getting out for a bit. Getting some air. Some movement. I’ll leave you for today with everything you need to know about echinacea.
I’m sitting here in my last minutes of work for the day trying to decide whether I should leave at 5:15 — exactly 9 hours since I got to work and therefore my “legal” time to leave — or at 5:35, the latest time I can leave and still make the last bus home. What’s the difference, you ask? Well, leaving at 5:15 allows me enough time to swing by CVS and pick up some junk. Or perhaps to pop in the coffee shop and grab a chocolate croissant. Leaving at 5:35 does not allow me that time, as I have to book it to the bus stop to get home. See, I’m sitting here debating on whether I ought to throw in the towel, and that’s a bad thing.
I know I want to stick with the plan. I know I am actually doing quite well, compared to my previous diet attempts. But I’m discouraged, having seen 210.5 lb this morning and therefore a net gain for the week. A week in which, I might add, I have been totally OP. I’m not lying to myself about that, either. I checked back in my food journal, I thought about things I might have left out (I’m notorious for “forgetting” margarine I put on a potato, or oil I cook in). It’s all spot-on. It’s very, very discouraging to see that I’ve already stalled. And now I have to deal with the nagging feeling that I’m unsuccessful as I have been in the past and will always continue to be (sure, you can tell me that’s not the case, but that stupid little internal de-motivator says otherwise).
Now it’s 5:08. If I find something to talk about for another 15 minutes, there will be no way I can go bury my anxieties in a bag of Reese’s Pieces. (BTW, so we’re all on the same page, we’re talking one of those giant 1-lb bags, not the wussy single serving ones.) Stalling, stalling.
It’s funny, I’ve seen two or three posts on 3FC lately about the Wendie Plan, asking if it works and if it’s good to try and whatnot, and every time I respond I respond with the same thing: “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I always think people make weight loss far more complicated than it ought to be. Take the bad stuff out, put the good stuff in, watch your portions, move more. Easy peezy. But today I found myself re-reading the sticky thread on the Wendie Plan and am thinking about starting it up tomorrow. I need something, and I don’t know what — maybe this? I really, really like the simile used to compare the body with a furnace: give the fire a little fuel and it burns. Give it more fuel and it burns hotter and longer. Same way with the metabolism, which is why I thought eating a little more would help (but hasn’t). So I think tomorrow I will try a week on the Wendie plan and see if my problem has been that I’ve been letting my body’s fire burn at too low of a temperature for too long. It’s something to try, anyway, and at least I’ll feel like I’m being proactive instead of wondering what’s going on, what I can do, counting my points and continuing to see disappointing results.
I can deal with small losses each week. Bring em on, a loss is a loss is a loss. But gains? Gains when I’m eating healthily and drinking water? Gains when I’m being conscientious and really feeling like I’m finding my way? Uh-uh. Not gonna fly with me. So I’ll shake things up with Wendie and see what happens. Let’s hope for some better reports to come out of next week!!
Have a good weekend, everyone who pops by! :)
(PS It’s 5:15 on the dot as I post this, I think I’ve convinced myself that going to CVS will do absolutely nothing for me. So I’ll hang out at work for a few more minutes and save myself the temptation.)
Boo… I went and did it… I gave in to the lure of the scale. And of course, as expected, it was kind of depressing — it hasn’t moved yet this week. I can’t allow myself to get fixated on it but it’s definitely disappointing. I took the opportunity to look back at my eating journal for the past week and found that I’ve actually been staying a little too low in my Points consumption, because I’ll plan out a bunch of stuff but then I won’t eat all of it. So my plan for today is to make sure I get in all of my Points, or perhaps a couple extras. Of all good, healthy food though, of course. That and a little exercise tonight would probably do the trick. I don’t need to see huge losses every week, but I do want to see something, especially considering this is only my second week and I can’t be plateauing yet!!
So here’s what I’m eating today:
B1: english muffin and an egg (3)
B2: simple harvest oatmeal (3)
L: chicken noodle soup (2), rye crackers (1), string cheese (1), clementines (1), almonds (4)
S: lf plain yogurt and museli (3)
D: sausage and wild rice casserole (7), veggies, fudgsicle (1)
Wait… even with 2 breakfasts that’s only 26 points!! BAH. What in the world do other people eat in order to get their points up?? I can see I didn’t do well getting lots of veggies in today, but that just adds bulk, not points. I have lots of protein in the day — an egg, nuts in oatmeal, chicken in soup, 1oz almonds, yogurt, sausage — so I don’t know what to do there. I hate drinking my points but maybe I need to get some kind of juice? Like V-8 Fusion?
Sigh. I know this isn’t permanent and I am WAY happy to be seeing 209 on the scale at home (instead of 216!), but I am having a hard time convincing myself to eat more in order to weigh less.
Two more days until WI #3 (well, three, but two more “eating” days as Saturday morning I go early enough that I don’t eat beforehand). I’m getting kind of nervous. What if I don’t lose? What if I lose just a tiny bit, despite being OP all week and this only being my 2nd week at it? These are the conditions under which I convinced myself to weigh a billion times during the week last week… But then I got obsessive over half pounds and what my scale says vs the scale at WW and I just got dizzy with all those concerns. So I’m just gonna suck it up and WAIT. I mean, I feel skinnier today–I was wearing this beautiful cashmere sweater I have and when I caught myself in the mirror sideways I could tell my tummy is shrinking. I looked skinnier to me, which is a great thing! So yeah, who cares about numbers when you can get visual confirmation otherwise?
I don’t have a whole lot to report on today. Everything’s been OP and I’m about to go make dinner (veggies, black beans, and avocado wrapped up like a burrito with rice). I had a good day at work, finished up a project and was handed another one similar to one I had done before because the client liked my work so much they wanted more! It looks like because they like what I’m doing for them I’m going to be spearheading some kind of market analysis research in which I kind of “mystery shop” their competitors and produce a report for them. It’s going to be a HUGE undertaking but it will be very satisfying, I think!
Anyway… off to make dinner… no exercise in sight because I’m a LAZY BUM. Lazy lazy lazy. Ooh, perfect opportunity for a poem:
I just had to come add another post for the day to note that I measured myself last night out of curiosity and found I lost an inch and a half off my waist after about a week and a half. I knew all of that 3.2 lbs came right off my midsection, I could feel it! Woo!
I feel kind of blah today. Not for any particular reason… Though I have been thinking about how I kind of wish I could go back to high school and do everything over again. There are a lot of people I want to see. A lot of actions I want to undo. A lot of missed opportunities I want to take. It was so long ago, someone tell me why suddenly I’m nostalgic? After surviving high school and recognizing how hellish it is, really, why do I want to go back? I think it’s mostly because I miss my old friends, and I’m generally kind of lonely here. Could be as simple as that. Oh well, I’m going to try to get it out of my head. Doesn’t make any sense to pine for high school under any circumstances. I’m glad there are nearly 6 years between me and it.
Anyway! My friend (the one featured in the previous post) came back last night from her winter break, and I had a couple of surprises in store for me — well, one big one — she seems to be on a getting healthy kick, as evidenced by a multitude of 100-calorie packs in her house (er, not my preferred method, but whatever works) and the fact that she just bought a TREADMILL. I have a pickup truck so I had to help her take it home and unpack it and such, and it is super duper extra cool and humongous and whatnot, but it’s awesome. I felt a little more at ease with her than I was thinking I would when I wrote the last post… And I did end up telling her about WW. Since she seemed to be showing signs of wanting to revamp some of her lifestyle, I told her I had started going to WW and if she was interested she could come with. She said “yeah, maybe,” but at least now she a) knows if she needs support with WL I’m going through it too and b) I’m cleaning up my eating and trying to lose weight. So that’s that.
I just read this article on the Paleolithic Diet, which is a very interesting thing in that it represents the ultimate in “grassroots” dieting, of a kind of return to our ultimate beginnings. The idea is that our bodies aren’t developed for the modern diet, and that in order to stop fighting our bodies into submission by eating refined sugar and heavy grains, we should eat the way our caveman ancestors did–high-fiber and water-heavy. Apparently a whole slew of ailments and diseases disappear after three months on the new diet.
Now, the idea that wheat and corn aren’t great for the human body isn’t new to me, nor is the concept that certain staples of the modern diet are improperly processed and can lead to problems like high blood pressure and diabetes. What I DO find interesting is that even this article, purportedly concerned with the health benefits of the diet, cannot refrain from the ultimate diet promise, the holy grail of promises made to the overweight:
Among other benefits of the diet, “it’s a good way to lose weight,” Lindeberg says. Rich in water- and fiber-heavy food, the Paleo diet offers a “way to restrict your calories without restricting the amount of food you eat.”
Fabulous! Another person claiming to have THE answer, the way that we can eat as much as we want and STILL lose weight! Hurray, wave goodbye to the obesity epidemic, everybody!! Jeesh. It’s awful that not a single new healthy eating plan can come out and be what it is, and survive on its own strengths without appealing to the ultimate insecurity of dieters and the overweight–this thing you’re reading about NOW, folks, THIS is the answer, THIS won’t fail you, and best of all, you can eat AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, of ANYTHING YOU WANT, and still succeed. I mean, talk about playing to insecurity. Talk about setting thousands, perhaps millions of people up for failure. Talk about creating unrealistic expectations.
Can’t we all just grow up, just a little, and see through all the advertising bullshit? And perhaps if no one buys into crap like this anymore, they’ll stop being able to use it against us. I just find it incredibly insulting to my intelligence, as someone looking to lose weight, when claims like that are made.
It’s just such a low blow.
My 1st weigh-in was Saturday, and the official WW record now reads 212.8, which is minus 3.2 for the week! Yayyy!! Of course, I must qualify that by saying that Saturday morning in nothing but a smile my scale at home said 209.5, which is 4lbs down from what it read the previous Saturday (seems my scale is a couple pounds more generous than the WW scale). But that doesn’t concern me too much, as I’m happy enough with the -3.2!
Sunday was kind of a mess eating-wise, as I did some baking (which is never a good idea unless I *have* to give the food away, like baking for a reason). I ate up 15 points’ worth of freshly-baked goodies… And that put me over by 4 or 5 for the day. Not a big deal, really, that’s what flex points are for, and as long as I’m careful I’ll be fine. I’m excited for the next weigh-in, I hope it’s just as kind to me :)
My leader was talking this week about surrounding yourself with people who are supportive. About not being ashamed of what you’re trying to accomplish. (Why are we inherently embarrassed of weight loss? Maybe this doesn’t hold true for everyone, but it certainly holds true for me.) And I started thinking about my friend here in town who is very unconcerned with her weight and eats anything she wants, and has certainly gained a significant amount of weight in the 2 years I’ve known her. And I started thinking about the fact that I do not intend to tell her about Weight Watchers. I would be embarrassed to bring it up, and I don’t feel that she would be supportive of my efforts even if I did.
I almost feel it would be better if I waited, lost enough for it to be noticeable, and let her bring it up with me. (”Have you been losing weight?”) Then she can think back and see that I have been able to enjoy the same kinds of foods… nothing is cut out, just portions are controlled… and perhaps that would be enough for her to not ridicule my efforts (which is kind of what I assume will happen if I say anything now). Leading by example and all. I find a lot of people are against diets and people dieting because they think the dieter cannot eat anything and cannot enjoy food anymore. But that simply is not the case, especially with something so flexible as Weight Watchers. And the word “diet” turns so many people off before you even get the chance to explain. So I wonder if it wouldn’t be better if I just held out for a while?
An obvious problem with this is that we eat together quite frequently. Dinnertime is one of the only times we end up getting together. She’s planning a Superbowl party (for me, her, and my DH… the only people she knows in town) and is already planning a huge spread of “sausage, cheese, brats, taco dip, and junk food” (her words — and wtf is taco dip??). So obviously it’s going to be difficult to fit in food time with her if this is how we’re going to eat. I’m going to have to make sure to bring a veggie tray and maybe some baked chips or something… I can fit a brat into my diet if I plan it in advance but there’s no way I’m loading up on sausage and cheese and taco dip (??) on top of having a big ol’ sausage.
So there are problems with not telling her. I can’t really articulate WHY I don’t want to tell her, aside from the fact that I don’t think she’ll be very supportive. There are things which lead me to believe this, but… I don’t know. It’s just who she is. I just have to make sure and put ME first, put me and my desire to take care of myself finally ahead of sparing her feelings or what have you. This is just something I’m going to have to sort out.
SV: my scale showed me 211 this morning, which is -2.5 from what it told me Saturday morning. No loss will be official until Saturday morning at the WW meeting, and the WW meeting won’t show me 211 (because it told me 216 whereas my scale told me 213.5 last Saturday)… but I’m hoping the loss will still carry over. Still, I haven’t seen 211 on any scale in quite a number of months, so woo!
NSV: #1, belt is back on second notch. #2, my “tight” pants feel rather normal and comfortable. #3, I feel different today… I looked in the mirror and felt a little skinnier. Not that I’ve lost a ton so far but Perhaps those 2.5lbs came off from that slope of my tummy above my belly button… the one that makes me stick out further. Maybe it’s in my head, but even if it is, I’ll take it :)
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Weight Watchers works. If you stick to the plan, it will not fail. Freakin’ fantastic :)
I’ve been meaning to mention this for a while now, but keep forgetting — my trip to Brazil has been pushed a couple of months. We were going to go in June for MIL’s 70th birthday and our 1st wedding anniversary, but his brother who lives in the Czech Republic can’t make it to Brazil that month… And I still haven’t met the guy, since last June he was too busy to make it to our wedding (I sound bitter, but I’m not, I promise — it was a big trip to make and I understand). He says September will be far easier for him because his job will most likely naturally take him to Brazil around then, so he can combine business and pleasure. So we’ll go then so I can meet him.
I feel kind of bad skipping out on his mother’s birthday, because 70 is a big number, you know? But DH has assured me that it would mean more to her to have her entire family together at one time than for us to be there on her birthday. And since it doesn’t look like we can all be together in June, September it is. I guess I can look at it as a birthday gift since we’ll probably go late August to the beginning of September :)
The other benefit is that I have more time to lose weight… September it will be late Spring in Brazil and therefore getting hot enough for me to want to be able to wear cute dresses and stuff :) so I have let’s say 7.5 months, I think my Brazil goal ought to be 170. That’s 46 lbs, or just over 6 lbs/month, or about 1.5 per week. I’ll probably have to work my butt off but it can be done :)
The goal to go along side that one will be a financial one — I have to save up a bit of money to make sure I can buy a few new outfits that FIT by the time we go. Good news is at about that time all the summer stuff will be on sale to clear out for fall, so I shouldn’t have too bad a time of it.
I’m excited :) All this fantastic stuff is happening this year…!
Anybody have any tips for getting up early? I recognize that I need to work out, and I’m starting to recognize that I simply cannot make myself do so when I get home from work. Usually I’m tired and hungry, so I make dinner, and after that I just want to relax. I need to get my butt out of bed and do it before work if it’s going to happen at all. It’s not like I’d have to get up early; 6:15 would be enough time to get in a 45-minute workout. I know people who get up in the 5’s of the morning, so I have nothing to complain about. But yet, when that alarm goes off, I just turn it off and roll over.
Perhaps I need this. It certainly would get me out of bed!!
Oh well. As long as my eating is on track, I don’t feel too bad about putting off the inevitable start of exercise. It will come, one day.
I had a dream last night that I lost my entire 10% in my first week (ain’t gonna happen). I was really excited about it. Then another part of my dream had me sticking bolts up my nose and then they got stuck and went down my throat and I had to throw them back up (isn’t that weird?? WTF?). Strange night.
Well… nothing else to report really. Things are going well. I sneak-weighed myself yesterday even though my scale is 2.5 pounds off from the WW official scale, and it said I lost a pound… So that’s good! But who knows what the official scale will say on Saturday! Getting closer to that 1st weigh-in!!
…
PS: Does anybody read this or am I talking to myself? :p
The first:
“The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.” - Mark Twain
I think a lot of people need this tattooed on the back of their hand. I occasionally go to this message board (not 3FC), and every second post is “help me lose 10 pounds by tomorrow.” Or “help i’m fat i want to lose 20 pounds per month is there a pill.” People who expect that all that work they put into getting themselves into the unhealthy situation they’ve found themselves in can just be effortlessly undone via a pill or a trick or a secret drink. It takes work, people! It takes hard work to get yourself healthy, especially if unhealthy has been bred into you. All those “success” stories about people on cabbage soup diets who lose 70 pounds in 3 months just serve to make the rest of us dissatisfied with our excruciatingly slow — but PHENOMENAL — downwards progress.
On a related note, I read an article on BBC the other day that was about when the best makes for the worst — it was in regards to relationships but I think it applies here too. It was talking about how people see idealized versions of relationships, Prince Charmings with Perfect Hair sweeping beautiful young women off their feet, ordering a symphony and a massive fireworks display on the night he is to propose, that kind of thing, they see this stuff and they think “Gee, why isn’t my husband like that? Why did I marry a guy who’s balding and gassy and can’t cook when apparently perfect men are in abundance?” And they end up dissatisfied with something they once loved — all for the sake of a fake ideal which they won’t get. It’s totally true, and I have definitely seen this ideal letdown in action.
So it’s the same with weight loss… When will we stop measuring ourselves by other people’s progress? When will we stop beating ourselves up for our relative lack of success, and forgetting all the times and all the ways in which we KICK TOTAL BUTT? I mean, whose lives do we value, if not our own? Patrick Dempsey’s? Angelina Jolie’s? My legs aren’t as thin as hers… my husband isn’t a globetrotting philanthropist with washboard abs… Maybe I should get a divorce and go on a diet.
So c’mon, people. Give yourselves some credit. You can achieve anything you set your mind to it, albeit the journey will be difficult. But YOU are worth it, YOU are fabulous!
Okay, that was thought #1. On to #2:
“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” - John Wooden
Tis true, I cannot yet run a mile without having a heart attack. I cannot yet say I eat even 90% clean. I can’t say I like exercise all that much. I can’t say I’m a healthy person right now, I can’t say I’ll be around for my kids when I get around to having them and they get around to growing up.
All these things I can’t do right now. Such a shame.
But you know what I can do? I can power walk for 3 miles before I get tired. I can do 100 consecutive jumping jacks (though my arms get a little…less…higher…. each time I do them towards the end). I can say I’m eating better than I ever have in my life. I can say I’m well on my way to becoming the healthy person I want to be.
I was thinking about this with regards to exercise in particular. I caught myself in the thought, “well, I can’t do that DVD comfortably… it near kills me every time I try… I guess I’ll just skip the workout and go make dinner.”
… But wait, what? What about those other workout options I have that are totally within my limits? The ones that make me feel awesome after I do them, the ones that give me such a sense of accomplishment when I get to the end without stopping? The ones that make me glimpse, just for a second, that powerful, fit, healthy person hiding away inside me?
Recognize these thoughts in yourself, in your every day activities. If you’re anything like me, they’re there. The “I can’t”s and the “I shouldn’t”s waiting around to ruin your success, to bring you down when you deserve better. You deserve better!
And on that note, a poem from my favorite poet ever, the ever-wonderful Mr. Shel Silverstein:
Listen to the Mustn’ts, child, listen to the Don’ts.
Listen to the Shouldn’ts, the Impossibles, the Won’ts.
Listen to the Never Haves, the listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.
I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting yesterday morning, weighing in at 216 (my scale at home told me 213.5, but I might as well go with the “official” word). It was really great! Everyone I talked to there was super nice, and the leader was this young, energetic woman with a permanent smile on her face and tons of enthusiasm. There were about 30 people there, about half of which were new like me. That was to be expected. It’ll be interesting to see how the numbers hold up over the next month or so. There were 3 other girls around my age, one of whom was doing it with her mother, another of whom looked to be almost at goal, and the third was definitely on her way. I didn’t really talk to any of them, I tend to get along better with middle aged women anyway :p
So I’ve been having fun yesterday and today getting back into tracking, killing my husband with talk of Points values and calorie density… He’s a good sport, though. He tries to be interested :)
We went to Chili’s yesterday after my meeting, and I had a Guiltless Chicken Sandwich which comes with veggies and black beans. And I stole two fries from DH :) I looked up the values of everything in my Dining Out Companion before I went, thinking I’d be eating a salad for lunch (which I wouldn’t have minded), but it turns out most salads without dressing are 16+ points. How do they make lettuce worth points? Do they secretly deep fry it? Raise it on vegetable oil instead of water?? Anyhow, I enjoyed what I ordered, and it fit well into my day.
We went grocery shopping afterwards, and came up with a $137 bill. I think that’s the most I’ve spent on groceries in one go in a loooong time. We bought a bunch of produce and some good staple foods for the pantry, so we shouldn’t be tempted to go out to eat any time soon.
Well, that’s it for now! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
DH brought some Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter into the house this week. Scourge of my childhood, haunts me in my waking moments! Demon of refined carbs, sweet, sugary temptress of the breakfast hours!
…Yes, I’m being a wee bit over dramatic. But I just can’t stay away from the stuff, though I know it has NO nutritional value whatsoever. It’s like eating air. But with calories.
Anyway, I spent all of last night munching on the stuff, all the way up to bedtime. I should know better. I know that when I eat refined carbs or lots of sugar right before bed I sleep terribly, I wake up with a headache and generally feel hung over the next morning. It’s true. I don’t have to drink to get a hangover, I just need to have undigested sugary crap in my stomach before bed.
The good news is the damn stuff is gone… But I shoulda thrown it out or make DH eat it while I was at work or something.
In other news, I think I’m going to go to a Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday morning. I have this grand vision of me waking up early, doing some living room cardio, and hopping off to a WW meeting like a champ. I’ve never really done meetings (especially never alone) so I think I’m just going to fork over the $12 for the non-membership visit and see what it’s like. I loved WW before when I was doing it but I can’t seem to stick to it when I just do it alone. I think I need the face-to-face support. I don’t have any close friends here, that makes it especially difficult.
There are meetings on Saturday at 8am, 9:30am, and 11am. I’m thinking I’ll try the 9:30, though I also imagine it’s going to be way busy. First Saturday after the new year? Not too early, not too late? Yeah, everyone in town will be there. But Saturdays are pretty much the only time I can make it, the rest are during the work day (except Tuesdays at 6pm, but I’m not waiting til Tuesday to get to a meeting). So yes. I hereby commit to going to a WW meeting on Saturday morning.
And one last piece of news, I ordered two workout DVDs yesterday that should arrive tomorrow. I ordered a Walk Away the Pounds and a kundalini yoga… Should be interesting. I’m desperately trying to find something that interests me and keeps me motivated and is at the same time on my level… I have TurboJam and think it’s super fun but it kicks my butt to Tahiti and makes me sore for three days… Which I guess is good but it really discourages me from doing it again, I’m just worn out!
Anyway, that’s it for now. That was enough from me for one day!
